|My Personal Hatred
Highest Bidder recieves the utmost of contempt from the seller.
From the date of its reception, I will require your name and address.
From the time I recieve this information, I will consider you with
disgust, hate, and malice. I will not assist you in any way, shape,
or form. I will consider you with bitterness and resentment. When
I am faced with the acceptance of any failure in my life- be it in
my career or my personal life, I will consider you to blame.
It will be a safe, comfortable hatred from a distance, the kind of
hatred that has no physical manifestation. From this, you may live in
safety without fear of danger coming to you through this purchase.
My hatred will not be the result of religion, color, race, or gender,
nor will it stem from disabilities. It will grow out of the essence
of your being. It will rise from the day you were born. [Include your
birthday and I will place a black box over the date when it appears in
calendars.] It will be aimed at your core, at the essence of who you
are as a person.
You will exist solely as a name on which I may transfer my own inability
to accept failure and disappointment. You will become a myth, a legend,
a kind of devil on which I may blame all that is wrong with the world. In
a sense, you may consider this purchase the purchase of blame for my fate
and therefore you become fate itself for just one human being, which one
does not very often get to do these days.
There will not be any flaming excrement on your door, or death threats, or
scary emails or late night phone calls. Instead, you will recieve my hatred
in the form of forced apathy. I will deliberately assail the thought of your
existence in my mind as if it is a lie, but I will know it is true.
Shipping charges negligible.
Zeppelins are a dirigible.
|Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You
should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ($) unless otherwise noted.
On Jun-01-01 at 23:24:01 PDT, seller added the following information:
Many people have asked me: How will I know that I recieved your hatred?
How can you prove that it is now mine?
I have struggled with the answer, and have come up with a solution. Your bid
is now for a piece of paper with a representation of my hatred. It will not be
the hatred itself, but by bidding you are bidding on the certification of my
hate as well as the hate itself- and by bidding, you agree that the representation
of my hate will serve as a binding transfer of goods.
My hate looks like this:
Many have also asked; "Is my hate transferable to another person?" The answer is,
yes, provided that they are willing recipients. If they are not willing recipients,
you may consider giving them your own hatred, and using mine as a replacement.
Finally, I am accepting serious offers only. I intend to complete any sales that
transpire via ebay and will hold the highest bidder to thier price. Please do not
bid if you do not intend to purchase my hatred.
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